As if writing dilbert wasn’t enough of a gift to the sarcastic and embittered masses, Scott Adams now has his own blog. Here’s how he describes making the decision to go blogging:
“When I see news stories about people all over the world who are experiencing hardships, I worry about them, and I rack my brain wondering how I can make a difference. So I decided to start my own blog. That way I won’t have time to think about other people.
People who are trying to decide whether to create a blog or not go through a thought process much like this:
1. The world sure needs more of ME.
2. Maybe I’ll shout more often so that people nearby can experience the joy of knowing my thoughts.
3. No, wait, shouting looks too crazy.
4. I know - I’ll write down my daily thoughts and badger people to read them.
5. If only there was a description for this process that doesn’t involve the words egomaniac or unnecessary.
6. What? It’s called a blog? I’m there!
The blogger’s philosophy goes something like this:
Everything that I think about is more fascinating than the crap in your head.
The beauty of blogging, as compared to writing a book, is that no editor will be interfering with my random spelling and grammar, my complete disregard for the facts, and my wandering sentences that seem to go on and on and never end so that you feel like you need to take a breath and clear your head before you can even consider making it to the end of the sentence that probably didn’t need to be written anyhoo.
If that doesn’t inspire you to read my blog, I don’t know what will.”
You can find the Dilbert Blog at
http://dilbertblog.typepad.com/
Paul Gascoigne has taken his first managerial role in football after being named as boss of Kettering “Who?” Town. The 38-year-old is part of a consortium that has taken over the club.
“It feels good, I’m excited. I know it’s Kettering Town,” Gascoigne said to a relieved gathering of reporters who weren’t sure that he did know. He went on to reveal his intelligent grasp on the game, saying: “It isn’t Premiership football, but the plans we have worked on for the past six weeks have been exciting.”
The Midlands club (apparently, but you really have to look on a map) was founded in 1872 and is currently fifth in the Conference North - two divisions below the Football League. Gascoigne said the aim was to become a league club.
“They haven’t been in the Football League in 133 years, so that will be one of the main objectives to get this team up there. That will be something for the supporters to look forward to,” he said. “I’m not going to say we’ll do it this season or next season, there’s a lot we can improve on, whether that’s with the players we’ve got now or the players we bring in.”
Sarcasmo says: You can’t fault his ambition, but I don’t think Kettering are going to become a league club this year as they are TWO divisions below the football league. Even Gazza should have worked that out. But good luck to him anyway.
See the full story on BBC News.
The end of the world is indeed nigh and getting more nigher every day. Now, thanks to the handy folks at raptureready.com you can keep an accurate check of how much repenting you need to do today before all the good guys get airlifted out.
Google’s satellite maps have uncovered an image of Jesus H. Christ in the remote depths of Peru. Click here to see more.
At Draw a Pig you can, er, draw a pig and have it added to the online gallery. Plus, you can also undergo an interesting psychological profile based on the pig you drew. It sounds far-fetched, but I’m not telling porkies, so why not go the whole hog and find out what your doodle says about you.
If you want to see Sarcasmo’s pig, then click here.
From a penguin wrapper, no less:
How do you make a tissue dance?
So Apple have released that new iPod, which is supposedly a fantabulous update on the iPods of old. But does it really match up to all those Apple products of yore? I don’t think so.
In case you feel your life is incomplete without a pair of DKNY leather pants for men (possibly for men who like men), you ought to visit this genius advertising page from an ebay auction. (Sadly you’ve missed out this time - the auction has ended.) The questions at the end are worth a read too.
A major source of revenue for football clubs are DVDs showing classic goals from the club’s history. However, Dundee United fans got an extra bonus on their recent release, which featured a team in orange (United’s colours) scoring an excellent goal in what claimed to be United’s UEFA Cup clash with FC Porto in 1975. However, it was actually a goal scored by top Ukrainian side Shahktar Donetsk, who also play in orange, in a completely unrelated match. Apparently a fane representative said: “This is an embarrassment for the club as it should have been spotted before the DVD went on sale.”
Sarcasmo says: It could have been worse. It could have been England’s own tangerine army, the mighty Blackpool FC. At least Shahktar are in the Champions League - perhaps the only way a Champs League goal would be seen on a Dundee United DVD!
[Reported on yahoo sports]
Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing.
He concludes by saying: “Yesterday in Iraq, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed.”
“OH NO!” the President exclaims. “That’s terrible!”
The staff sit stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the President holds his head in head in hands for what seems like an eternity…
Finally, the President looks up and asks, “How many is a brazillion?”