There are of course many ways to exact revenge upon someone who has wronged you, but it takes a special kind of mind to devise a revenge for profit scheme. My question is, was she even worth £4.99? Alas, the Mirror was unable to provide an answer.

Now before any sensitive religious types start rioting, this is a cartoon about people drawing cartoons of Mohammed, not a cartoon of Mohammed himself.

[Nonsequitur]

Yeah, we all know how annoying those idiots in their pimped up rides can be, so it warms the cockles of our bitter little hearts when we hear about a rude boy getting his comeuppance for their own stupidity, as in this story from BBC News

A benefits cheat with a lavish lifestyle was caught after he boasted of his £12,500 “chariot on tyres” in a magazine.
Llewellyn Luce, 28, had a personalised number plate on the car, whose leather interior was crammed with gadgets. Investigators caught him after a picture of the Citroen Saxo car appeared in Revs magazine, where Luce boasted: “It attracts so much attention it’s daft.”

After being told by the judge to expect a custodial sentence, Sarcasmo bets he wishes he hadn’t attracted so much ‘daft’ attention now.

In case you’ve missed it, half the world’s Muslims are burning Danish pastries in protest about some cartoons about Mohammed (or something), hence:

Not sure who drew this, but they may be off their heads…

Captain Scorn feels it would be wrong not to mention the chap from Serbia who, unable to afford conventional viagra, decided to go looking for a low cost alternative. What he found, was a pencil.

This pencil was inserted into a place where pencils really shouldn’t be inserted, and an ambulance was finally called when the pencil became lodged in his bladder.

Well done indeed.

Anyone for a Day of Purity?

Did you have a duff Valentines day this year? Never mind. Take heart, and put February 15th into your diary for 2007!

This one does, anyway. The juicy Jesus was built entirely out of lemons and oranges for the ‘Festival Du Citron’ in the town of Menton in France. He looks okay at the moment, but I bet after a few days in the sun he’s going to stink.

Now this is what you call a catchy acronym:

batbygobstopl

Who knew that Australians could be ironic?

Captain Scorn has a major problem with millionaire heiress Paris Hilton. One might argue that her incredible stupidity is just a cunning marketing ploy, but somehow I doubt it (during a recent court appearance, she couldn’t remember the surnames of many of her closest friends, and exclusively revealed that everyone in Europe speaks french).

Anyway, it now transpires that indian film director T Rajeevnath is in discussions with Miss Hilton to further her movie career. And the subject of Mr Rajeevnath’s latest blockbuster? Mother Teresa! If anybody can think of a less likely pairing of star and subject matter, please get in touch with Sarcasmo and let us know.

You can read the full story at the Indo-Asian News Service (www.ians.in)