What can I say? Nobody knows how he’s managed it, least of all him probably, but our John has been having a two year affair with a woman 24 years his junior. The woman in question, Tracy Temple, really must have been wowed by John’s ‘honourable member’, because it surely can’t have been his wit and conversational skills.? This revelation has forced Mr Prescott to admit that he is in fact 67, so please, I implore you John - retire, now! Thank you.