As ludicrous as it sounds, Stilton are launching a perfume! They are, they say, looking to “recreate the earthy and fruity aroma” of the cheese “in an eminently wearable fragrance”. Who in their right mind would ’stick on the stilton’ before hitting the pubs and clubs?

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They are currently looking for a famous face to front an advertising campaign for the perfume. Suggestions, please!