The vagaries of indefinite job descriptions mean that occasionally I have to learn new things and go to interesting places. Like today, when I was sent to get a load of lamps for a video shoot. Assured that the place I was getting them from was “just off so-and-so road” I set out naively thinking it would soon be sorted.

Bloody miles later I reached my destination hidden away on a sprawling industrial estate. After driving so far I thought I was about to drive into the sea I pitched up next to a warehouse , went inside and asked for the items I’d been sent to collect.

“I’ve come for a crate of redheads…”

I have a theory. It goes like this. Techies are just like computer geeks, except they? climb ladders. So it should come as no surprise that techies refer to lamps as ‘redheads’, ‘blondes’, ‘brunettes’, etc. Because this is possibly the only time in his life that a pasty-faced pimple-encrusted black t-shirted techie will be able to casually say: “I’ve got a few redheads in the car, and I’m picking up some blondes in five minutes. It’s going to be a fun night.”

Of course, I could be wrong. But I’m not.