Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people’s carts when they aren’t looking. Or put them all in one person’s cart while they’re distracted.

Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals. Move on an aisle and do the same thing to all the kitchen timers.

Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, ‘Code 3 in aisle 10??? and see what happens.

Go the Service Desk and ask if they can put a bag of M&M’s away for you to buy later.

Move a ‘CAUTION - WET FLOOR’ sign to a carpeted area.

Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you’ll invite them in if they’ll bring pillows from the bedding department.

When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask ‘Why can’t you people just leave me alone????

Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

Use a baguette as a make-believe lightsaber. Don’t forget the humming noise as you kill imaginary baddies. If a member of staff asks you to stop, throw them another baguette and say ‘The force is strong with you, young one, but I will be your master!??? Then, attack.
Ask the in-store pharmacist for the largest quantity of strong painkillers you can have. Then ask if they sell anti- depressants over the counter.

Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming either the “Mission Impossible” or the ‘James Bond??? theme.

In the kitchen department, practice your “Madonna look” using different size funnels.

Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say “PICK ME!” “PICK ME!”

Practice your ten pin bowling with a watermelon. If questioned ask the clerk: ‘How else am I supposed to tell if it’s fresh???? with a derisive snort.
When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, curl up in a foetal position and scream “NO! NO! It’s those voices again!!!!”

And; last, but not least!
Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and, then, yell, very loudly, “Hello? Hello? There’s no toilet paper in here!”